Learning how to trust

One of the most important ingredients for any type of human relationship is trust. Without trust, we are not able to completely open up to another person. But what I have learned over the years is that it’s not so much about the trust between ourselves and others, as it is about the trust we have for the self. If we learn to trust ourselves, this can change every relationship we form. Why? It’s really simple. When you trust yourself, you are at peace with yourself. This allows you to be completely aligned with your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual self and you are no longer requiring any validation from others.  Self-trust allows you to express yourself freely, regardless if this is in front of a family member, a best friend, a co-worker or even a stranger. When you trust yourself, you are comfortable with what information you share with others but you are also somebody who can completely be trusted. You find a certain balance within yourself which opens you to the idea of truth, honesty and integrity. Everything you say or do comes from a space of honesty and from the heart, allowing yourself to feel free and act from a good intention. 

EXPECT LESS FROM OTHERS

When it comes to our relationships with others, we are so caught up in the rules we create for these bonds that we unconsciously or sometimes consciously begin to create belief systems and values around what we see as trust worthy or mutual respect. We expect others to be loyal, to listen to us, to be kind with us, to be interested in what we say. But what would happen if you just simply allow them to be exactly as they are? The true beauty of a relationship is not only about the value we get out of it as the self, but more about a collective. If somebody chooses to be disloyal, cheat or lie to us, they are actually doing so to themselves. Let it go, you cannot control other’s behaviours. Yes it may sting, but if you trust yourself, you will know that you will be ok regardless and will move onwards with confidence and grace. We associate ourselves with people from all different backgrounds with similar and sometimes completely different interests. Remind yourself why you connected with this person in the beginning. There is no need to try and change them, it is us that we need to figure out exactly who we are and allow ourselves to express freely within the relationship. When you start to trust yourself, you learn that everybody you connect with has something of value to teach you and you them. Nobody owes you anything, nor you owe anything to them, so let go of the idea that they should be a certain way, and just be who you are whilst accepting them also for their authentic way. When you trust yourself, you start to create bonds with people whose energy aligns with yours. 

APPRECIATE, DON’T COMPARE

It’s so easy these days to see how others are living by looking at social media and instantly comparing their life with ours. Yes some people do live amazing lives, but remember that what we perceive as an amazing life is just through what our eyes choose to perceive. What is it that you consider a beautiful life? Instead of comparing your life with that of others’, ask yourself what would it be like if you just accepted that everybody is at a different stage in their journey. Yours might look different, but it’s still your journey. You are a warrior, a beautiful soul worthy of wonderful experiences, just as others are. I used to think that having everything I wanted would make me happy, and it did to a certain extent, but I was focusing so much on polishing the exterior part of my life and not focusing on the inner layers. When I began doing so, and I allowed myself to explore a different kind of lifestyle, all of a sudden I felt happier, more grateful and happy for others’ success also. Start your day by taking 5 minutes to bring your awareness to what you appreciate in your life. Forget about the things you want and don’t have, focus on what you have and you are grateful for. What you are doing is projecting an energy of being open to receive, a sense of gratitude and a shift in your mindset. When you focus your attention on the things you don’t have and wish you did, you create a resistance to all that’s being offered to you. And why would you do so when you can look at your life with a more positive approach? Trust yourself every day to know that you can live gracefully and with an open heart to all that’s before you. 

BRING YOURSELF INTO ALIGNMENT 

​Most people only acknowledge themselves as a physical being with a brain to think and a heart to feel. Yes that’s partly true. But there are more layers of the self and when you create harmony between these, you can start noticing what you need to work on to bring yourself into an aligned, balanced state. The inner most layer of the self is the energetic part, the soul whilst the outer most layer is the physical self, the body. The layers that connect the two are the mental self, the emotional self and the spiritual self; all being connected with the physical and energetic self. Become an observant of the self and notice what is not aligned, without any judgement, just simply observe. Start with your mental self and notice how you think about yourself, about the world, about others. How is your behaviour shaped by these thoughts? How does your physical body react to these thoughts? Moving onto the emotional self, how do you feel about yourself, about others, about the world? And then observe how your actions are affected by this. And moving onto the spiritual self, how do you view life beyond what your eyes can see? Do you acknowledge your intuition or a divine force with which you connect with? The effects of these three layers affect both the physical and energetic self. If for example you think negatively about yourself, about the world and those around you, the energy you give reflects on this, attracting into your life exactly what you give out. On a physical aspect, you will begin to feel disconnected from your physical self, ignoring the true potential of your body as a vessel, causing a blockage in alignment. With time, the body becomes more sluggish, less mobile and loses its abilities. If however you acknowledge the nice aspects about your life and think positively towards yourself, others and the world, everything starts coming into alignment. You start using your imagination and passion which leads to opportunities created. You learn to appreciate your body and how it can move; you notice the beauty of Mother nature and all its changing states which simply reflect upon your changing moods. 

The notion of trust has more to do with how well you know your true being, and less about others. Although it’s easier to point the finger at others and shift the blame away from ourselves, the truth is that we are completely responsible for how we feel, think and act. Therefore, learning to establish a trusting relationship between all parts of the self, will always serve us a positive experience in whatever relationships or situations we are in.